We are excited to announce the release of our new book, "Yes, Your Marriage Can be Saved.", by Focus on the Family/Tyndale House

AVAILABLE IN BOOKSTORES NOW!

Is your marriage in crisis? Marriage 911, a 12-week workbook, will give give you the tools you need now. It is a "first response" for your crisis marriage that works--even with an unwilling spouse.

Do you need support? Marriage 911 Support Partner handbook is for you to give to a same-gender support partner of your choice. Your support partner will have a step-by-step guide to give you the help you need. It's a "first response" that works!

10 Guidelines to Avoid Burnout

Don't burn-up and burnout!

Ten guidelines to help Reconciling God's Way ministry leaders refuel:

  1. Pray continually for the couple in crisis. Have others praying for you as well.
  2. Be under the protection of your church by attending regularly and studying God's Word with others.
  3. Make sure to keep those strong boundaries (men with men, women with women, and NEVER counsel as couples if you are not a pastor or licensed counselor). You will not be able to remain neutral, and emotional ties are easily built with opposite sex.
  4. Build your team if you do this ministry as a class! Don't do this ministry alone! At least one other couple or co leader and a pastor need to be on the team-pray together, and be equipped!
  5. Take breaks between the 12-week classes or groups if you are teaching. If you are supporting someone through the workbook make sure that you are honest when the twelve-week time is over if they want to continue meeting and you need a break.
  6. Meet in neutral settings in order to be able to leave when the class or meeting time is over.
  7. Refer all suspected domestic violence or illegal activities to your pastor and let the church make the necessary intervention. Don't rescue…you are not equipped and you will only cause danger to the victim and to yourself.
  8. Have person in crisis call YOU rather than you call them the first time (ask church to give you an extension with voice mail). Example: Someone's marriage is in crisis and their friend or relative knows you are in this ministry and asks you to "give them a call…they really need help!" Tell the concerned person to give the individual in crisis your phone number (or church's number with your extension) and you will be happy to discuss their situation with them and get them plugged into the help available. *Remember, just because you took the time to talk with them doesn't mean that you have to be the one to support them. You can just be the one who helps refer them to the material or pastor/leader.
  9. Remember that the number one problem in this ministry is "rescuing and burning out", rather than avoiding…if you had a problem with avoiding then you wouldn't even be in this ministry. Read Oswald Chamber's November 15…and take it seriously!
  10. Continue to point the individual to God rather than give them answers. Example: the person says their husband came home drunk again, "what should I do?" Tell them, "I don't know, but God does…and He will tell you when you are spending time in His Word and going through material to help give you tools to help focus on God rather than your spouse." Remember that God will often give 5 people with the same problem 5 different directions, so don't get in His way…you only have half the picture and so do they!

Final thought: The enemy will try to get you to believe that because you aren't perfect yourself, you have no right to try to help others. That's a lie. As long as your heart is seeking God's will and you are focusing on Him, the mistakes you make will actually allow you to help others more effectively. God would rather have you making mistakes while seeking Him, like the disciples, than acting perfect while seeking self like the Pharisees.